Is Co-Sleeping Right for You? It's Okay if the Answer Is No
Do you feel guilty about not wanting to co-sleep?
I have said it before, maybe on more than one occasion, but it bears repeating - co-sleeping is a choice and it is okay to say NO!
Whether you're researching baby sleep, wanting to move away from co-sleeping or unsure whether sleep training is right for your family, this post is for you!
Why We Chose Independent Sleep for Our Family
Co-sleeping has never been for me. My husband and I agreed when I was pregnant that we wanted to keep our bed to ourselves. Of course, just like how much screen time we would allow, or when we would introduce sugar, we reserved the right to change our mind at any time…but in this case, we didn’t.
Many of our friends and well-meaning family scoffed with a not-so-subtle “yeah right, just wait!”
But it was a boundary that was important to us, so we held it.
5 Reasons We Chose Independent Sleep Over Co-Sleeping
We wanted to follow the recommended safe sleep guidelines.
I am an orchid when it comes to sleep, and having a wiggly toddler kicking me in the kidney was going to seriously impact the amount of sleep I got.
We both struggled with mental health if we didn’t get proper sleep, so protecting our sleep where possible was going to be essential for being present and functioning parents.
We wanted a place we could escape to - a safe space to unwind and fill our cups.
Keeping kids out of our bed felt like a proactive strategy to try and prioritise our relationship where we could.
Co-Sleeping Isn't the Only Solution for Night Wakings
So often those of us who want to promote independent sleep feel judged for our choices. This email Ash received from a client a few weeks ago highlights it all too well.
Imagine if we flipped the script on this and told a co-sleeping parent that they just need to sleep train their baby if they want the waking to stop - you monster!
So, don't tell someone who is looking for some support with their baby's sleep, that co-sleeping is the magic answer for them. We all reserve the right to do sleep how it feels right for us AND we are also still allowed to complain about it.
Finding Sustainable Sleep Solutions for Your Family
No matter how you structure sleep in your house, the most important thing is that it is sustainable for you.
And if it is no longer feeling sustainable, then reach out and get some help to change it. You might have thought you wanted to co-sleep, but it is no longer working for you and your family.
Or you might be reactive co-sleeping to survive, and if that is the case, know there are other choices.
Stop thinking about parenting choices as a dichotomy. It is not as simple as sleep train versus co-sleep. Just like it doesn't have to be breastfeed versus formula. Or puree versus baby-led weaning. Parenting is full of beautiful nuance in which you can tread your own path.