Has your child dropped their nap? Introducing quiet time!
For me, there is nothing sweeter than nap time. A peaceful pause to the pressures of parenting. A time to put your feet up and take a breath, or to send a few emails with a hot coffee in hand.
However, there will come a time in every parenting journey where the nap will fade or children will no longer need a nap to function well throughout the day. On average, according to sleepfoundation.org, children stop napping sometime between ages 3 - 5.
But just because the nap train has ended, doesn’t mean that a parent’s dream of Netflix while folding laundry needs to end with it. Quiet time will be your new best friend!
For the majority of toddlers between 3-5 years of age, it is reasonable to expect one hour of rest or quiet time in the day. It will take some time for your little one to learn the ropes of quiet time, but with clear expectations and a consistent and persistent approach, it will become a time of respite for you both.
Time to rest and reset…
How to get started with quiet time.
Establish the space
We find using a child’s own room is the best way to successfully set up a quiet time routine. It is a space they are familiar with, they feel comfortable and safe in and you can close the door.
You may want to set up a cozy corner especially for quiet time so they feel they have a special place to go.
Clear expectation
Start preparing your child for quiet time by role playing the expectations. For the first few days, spend 15 - 30 minutes in the quiet time space with your child. Use a toddler timer so they can see how much time is expected of them.
Talk about all the wonderful things in their room, brainstorm some ideas for play and talk about the kinds of things we do during quiet time: stay in our room, talk quietly, play on our own, keep the door closed, etc.
We have had a lot of success drawing up a list of quiet time manners and including little pictures as a visual reminder for what children need to do during that time. The more you can demonstrate expected behaviours for children, the more quickly they will get the hang of it.
Start small
Set the timer for 15 minutes, and spend the first five minutes setting them up with an activity and then give them a reason you are popping out of the room - “Dad just needs to go to the toilet.”. When you come back, praise them for staying in quiet time and doing such a great job.
If they came to find you during your pop out, avoid scolding them and instead bring them back to the space and gently remind them of the expectations.
Once they are staying in their room for the duration of the timer, start gradually increasing the time on the clock. I know many 3 and 4 year olds who can happily entertain themselves in quiet time for up to an hour.
Give them agency
Let them choose a special toy or activity they can use during quiet time. It is a great idea to set up a little special cupboard in your house of quiet time activities that they can only access during that special time.
When quiet time is finished, work together to pack up the toy and return it to the cupboard. As this becomes part of the daily routine, children will look forward to their independent time.
Make it part of the daily routine
Children thrive on routine and predictability because it provides them a sense of safety and security. Even if they resist quiet time at the start, if you persist daily they will eventually come to enjoy the time and you will find them to be a more rested and restored child in the afternoon.
What happens if they fall asleep?
Don’t sweat it!
For many children, when the pressure to nap is taken away, they will often fall asleep. Quiet time can in fact be the easiest way to maintain the nap for pre-schoolers who resist going down for a sleep. Keep an ear out and if thing are too quiet for a while check to see if they have nodded off. You may choose to gently wake them after half an hour in order to protect bedtime.
If they don’t fall asleep, that is okay too - A 2010 study showed that rest is still highly beneficial for improving memory. It is also a great way to foster independent play skills while providing parents a chance to recharge their batteries too.
